Point A to Point B
Ever since I was a kid, I remember being taught to choose a goal or choose a destination. The most common one was, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Or, “What do you want to study in college?”
This was a fun game for me, but also at times overwhelming. Because there were just so many options, it was hard for me to narrow down what I wanted. I often jumped on-board with the ideas that other people sold me. For example, the youngest idea I can remember that was sold to me was that I should be a veterinarian because I loved animals or because other girls my age wanted to be vets. When told I should be an illustrator for Disney, I immediately lit up with that idea. When told I should teach kids, I loved that idea too. When told I should study abroad, how could I not agree to that?
I do similar things with my kids as a way to let them know there are so many options out there. The problem for an indecisive and unsure kid like myself was that I was following what other people sold to me. I was so easy going, that even deciding my own future was in the hands of other people.
We all do this to some extent, right? We find an end-goal that sounds great and we want to get to the destination.
This could go for any goal that we have, no matter how big or small. For example, I could have the end goal of planting a small herb garden on my front porch. The idea of this end goal is beautiful and adorable and will totally benefit my family and our health.
I’ve found myself in this exact scenario where I feel so lit up and energized about a project, until I don’t. When regular life seems to be keeping me from building the herb box or painting it. Or when shopping for the perfect herbs, I’m using every trick in the book to keep the kids entertained at the plant store rather than thoughtfully contemplating my plants. I started to waiver on my decision to take on the project in the first place.
Where am I going with all of this? What I’m getting at is that the end point is so critical, but almost impossible unless we feel the “why.” What is it that lights up inside of me when I consider different job options? What is it that lights up inside of me about an herb garden for my front porch? What is it about becoming a life coach fills me with energy the second I wake up in the morning?
Truthfully, the end goal may or may not happen, but what is so important is that we’re aware of the feelings we have that yell, “Yahoo! I’m so glad you’re considering and possibly pursuing this amazing thing that brings you so much joy!” Not because I’m going to illustrate for Disney for the rest of my life and not because the fresh herb garden will match a Pinterest picture. The reason–the why–is because the idea and process makes me feel joy. It lights me up and energizes me from my core.
Some of the people that I coach feel unsure or indecisive. On the other hand, some of them know exactly what they want. Guess what?! The path is similar for either of these. Whether you know what Point B is or not, it doesn’t necessarily matter.
Let’s say the path from Point A to Point B looks a little like a tightrope. Err…I’m a smidge afraid of heights, so let’s bring it down to something more like a slackline, a couple feet off the ground. One foot in front of the other with arms outstretched, wobbling, sweating, afraid every step of the way, working as hard as we can to get to that Point B. We hear how hard we have to work and how much sacrifice we have to put in if we want to get to our goals. Do goals take work? Sure! But if the slackline only feels hard, like a strain, and like one sacrifice after the other, why are we doing it?
One of my goals is to help people to feel joy, energy, and success long before they’re at Point B. My hope is that making a habit of feeling their soul light up over and over helps them to be in tune with their own wants and their own goals. I hope that the repetition of experiencing satisfaction helps the slackline to look more like a go-cart on an open road, or a bike ride with a friend, or whatever analogy you want to use to describe a path that is open and free and feels great.
A bonus is that once you feel energized, it’s ok if Point B is starting to look like Point C or D. You can know that you’re on the right path because it’s the one filling your soul.
When I was younger, the idea of choosing what I wanted was painfully difficult. I was focused on the end goal without knowing what the heck lit me up in the meantime. In the day to day schedule, I wasn’t respecting where I felt happy and where I felt uncomfortable. I took other people’s word for it. Once I learned tools to recognize the joy within my own body, I was so much better at respecting that voice inside when it told me that a certain conversation or scenario did not make me feel comfortable.
What if we change the conversation with our kiddos? Rather than asking what they want to be when they grow up, why don’t we ask them what things they love? When do they feel happy? What makes them giggle? When do they feel loved and comfortable? When do they feel excited? What if we focus on how they feel on the path that leads them to their Point B? Or Point C? Or D?
There is power in listening to the unexpected moments of joy. The more we recognize these moments, the more we’ll have them. The universe will know that you’re listening. You’re dialed in! You’ve got this!
I challenge you to recognize things throughout your day that light you up. Small things or big things. The variety in weather. Your kid’s shirt inside-out. Pouring the exact amount of smoothie that your kids drink. Running into a good friend unexpectedly. Whatever it is. It feels great, right? You’re totally nailing this finding joy thing! Good luck!
